Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
