She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
