Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
