i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
