Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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