It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
