I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
