Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You're like the curious george of whores
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
i believe in u and ur pee
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
