My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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