We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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