My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Randomize
