dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
