The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You took a bar mat shot.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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