The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
