think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
