I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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