Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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