Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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