the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
