we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
