the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize