so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
