shes about as inviting as chlamydia
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
