Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize