I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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