somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
