tell your sister to shave her snatch
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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