Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize