Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
