My room smells like vodka and shame
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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