Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
why do cheetos always look like penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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