The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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