I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
