This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
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Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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