Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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