i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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