I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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