I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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