eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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