we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
