Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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