oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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