We named our party play list daddy issues
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
