I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
