I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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