Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
