I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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