you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
