Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
