were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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