school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
