What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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