yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
