I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
