i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
