Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
