wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize