Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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