I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
