I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
