Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
