I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
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