Farmville is her only friend.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
